7 Topics to Avoid Bringing Up For a Successful First Date Night
Sounds very specific, right? Because it, unfortunately, does happen — and far too often, at that.
Your words could trip you on your first date night. Be careful. | Photo by Isaiah Rustad on Unsplash
But things don’t always have to look like that for you! Let’s look at the bright side of things; think of how it can become a learning opportunity.
There are various takeaways men like you can learn from this experience, and ultimately ace your first date and even the following ones. For now, we will focus on one of the most critical factors in a date night — what conversation topics are best kept to yourself.
Read this dating tip and try to adjust your strategy to ensure a uniquely memorable time together.
This date night isn’t the place to lay down your issues. | Photo by Vinícius Müller on Unsplash
“Sorry, I just couldn’t focus. I have something going on at home. Well, it’s like this…”
It is a basic dating tip not to bring your dirty linens out in public, especially if it is only the first time you are meeting.
Your date should not feel anything less than comfortable and safe. But when you mention your personal woes at the get-go, don’t you think she’ll only feel stressed and burdened by your revelation?
These aren’t things she can fully understand, if you are looking for sympathy from her, so it’s better to shelf them until later when the relationship progresses.
Also, think of how that time could have been better used for learning about your commonalities. First dates shouldn’t be a throwaway experience.
Your past relationships.
This date night isn’t the place to lay down your issues. | Photo by Vinícius Müller on Unsplash
“She was fine and all. Very pretty. Smart too. We were years together until I met my last girlfriend.”
Now that’s just inappropriate. Talking about exes has never been part of anyone’s list of cute relationship goals, so don’t make it yours.
Also, just to be clear, past relationships include your first love and even almost-relationships, such as a longtime crushes.
As a love prospect, you should at least extend respect to your date and refrain from mentioning other women, even when they are all history for you. Your date might think that you are subliminally hinting at certain characteristics you want her to have, and possibly not yet over your past relationships.
Not unless you and your lady date enjoy chatting about exes over more fun things, then learn to focus on the one in front of you if a happy future is your goal.
Yourself.
It’s a selfish kind of date night if all you talk about is yourself. | Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash
“I was captain of the team. I finished the triathlon in record time. You should have seen me when I did that street dare!”
Seriously. This is one of the essential dating tips men should always take note of for their first dates. Just being yourself is different from talking about just yourself, so know how to tread this fine line.
First dates are about sharing who you are and finding out commonalities with this woman you want to connect with and woo. There should always be an equal amount of time for both sides to be heard — unless you plan on boring her for hours long.
Then, obviously, there’ll be no more further dates to talk about. You had your chance, and you just had to be self-centered and, thus, you blew it.
Your bedroom preferences.
It’s too early to talk about these things on your first date night. | Photo by Duncan Shaffer on Unsplash
“Well, we know where these things always end up? Why be coy?”
Don’t be shocked if your date finds the nearest exit ASAP. Unless there is a verbal, enthusiastic and freely given consent from both parties for such intimate arrangements to happen within the time you are together, you should hold off from sharing your experiences or inclinations.
This topic warrants that you and your date need to at least reach a certain level of close relationship for it to be acceptable to talk about. You don’t want to freak her out, right?
Remember that not everyone has the same comfort level regarding this topic. So better to play safe and skip the sex talk for now.
Your thoughts on politics and religion.
You don’t need to go over heavy topics on the first date night. | Photo by Attentie Attentie on Unsplash
“Don’t you think this party’s legislations are narrow-minded and ignorant? There are age-old teachings we need to let go of. Get with the times!”
We can’t deny that these topics are ones that do directly affect the lives of many so there is merit in talking about politics and religion. However, for a first date, don’t you think they are a bit heavy and too much to workaround? And anyone could become so heated that a flirty night out ends in an all-out banter.
Moreover, you could be risking the night’s success rate if you and your date’s viewpoints around such topics are vastly different.
Leave these aside and talk about much cuter, sweeter and simpler things. This date’s just the beginning anyway!
Your finances.
Finances may not be the best topic on a date night. | Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash
“I have been saving since I was fresh out of college. How about you? Do you have any investments? How’s your credit score?”
Being financially literate is a good (and attractive even!) trait to have, especially in these modern, money-run times. So if you want to bring that to the table on your first date, make sure that it does not sound like bragging and is actually warranted in the conversation. Lest you risk boring your date and leaving an ugly impression on her.
Further, you should realize that finances, savings, debts and all the rest, are very personal things that no one would feel safe to share the specifics about in just one night together.
It might be one of your relationship goals to get money matters settled at the earliest opportunity, but it might not be her’s. So slow down; there’s still a long way to go.
The future together.
Don’t you think that future together is still too far from this first date night? | Photo by Boris Britva on Unsplash
“I already knew when I saw you. You’re the one I’m gonna spend my life with!”
Hold your horses! Maybe you need a refresher: it is only the first date so there’s no need to think that far ahead. Do you truly believe that true love happens in an instant?
Also, the outcome of this night isn’t known yet — if there’s a follow-up date or if you’ll have to go right back to the drawing board.
To avoid looking like a creep and delusional person, do not even begin to touch on future timelines for you and your date. It is only proper to wait until you’re in an established, romantic relationship before bringing these back to the table again.
First dates aren’t always easy, but there are ways you can make the night more flirty and fun rather than heavy and gloomy.
Keep at it with the gentlemanly moves and remember to steer clear of the aforementioned conversation disasters. And the second date is surely on the horizon.
